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Форум » Развлечения » Форумные игры » adderall abuse in college or smthn buying adderall without a rx
adderall abuse in college or smthn buying adderall without a rx
AppalsesispДата: Вторник, 10.12.2013, 18:57 | Сообщение # 1
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Wow, very interesting. Guitarguy, I agree too. In fact, I am beginning to think I absolutely have this. The thing is, it is soooo hard to get a diagnosis, doctors find other problems wrong, including mood swings or depression, YES!! I have these, but why? They don't even care… I had one lady want to "stabilize my moods" before we treat the ADD. Ok, let me get this straight, I am now 30 (28 at the time of the appointment), come off as weird to most, including women and am, in my mind old now because of things I wanted in life when I was younger that I am afraid I may never get. Yes, of course I have mood swings, yes I am mildly depressed because of the past etc.. But the route of it all is my oddities and me seeing the world so very differently than others. I can't pay attention, screw up things etc., was sooo afraid of school due to my "laziness" that I couldn't overcome, all the while I had no problem with physical labor. I ended up down on myself and thinking factory work was the way to go, imagine that…Mentally stimulating tasks were always an issue, all the while my ideas and creativity flourish. I have gotten older, some of the fog went away and the stress of mentally stimulating tasks has decreased very much so. But other issues still exist. I am now in college as a non-traditional student in the medical field, took me long enough to feel competent enough to do so… I would LOVE to get in a research environment due to the way my brain works but my inability to absorb technical details that bore me is difficult. I am always thinking up studies I would love to try and drawing connections to things, which to others, they don't see these extreme connections. It is like the wikipedia, i jump from one topic that relates to another and in the end, I wind up elsewhere, sometimes it is relevant to the initial topic but sometimes it is really far away from the topic at hand. A friend told me it is hard to have a conversation, I jump from one thing to the next. It is HARD to focus on just a few things so I can flourish. I think of my brain like a circle around a circle, where the circle inside is more focused (historians, fact type individuals, passionate about what they do) and then me on the outer circle with ideas all over the place but not channeled. Being sub-par with a lot of things sucks, even if you know some things about a lot of things. Actually, it isn't horrible but it can be very challenging to get a good job being like this in our increasingly specialized society. Most people you encounter are good at a few things and you are constantly feeling inadequate. Anyway, this is how I generally feel. The funny thing also is that although mental tasks can be difficult for me, it is usually because I am too impatient to learn the basics and want to jump to level 2. But on the flip side, in a working environment without mental stimulation, I get bored, my mind wanders and I get accused of being a screw up. It used to make me feel inferior/stupid. Now, I am starting to realize I am smart in a specialized way but it is hard to use this intelligence. In a perfect world, we would be tested for certain mental skills and used in a team based fashion IMO. The one field I see a lot of ADD folks go is the computer field. Funny, because I always had a thing with computers and technology, my best job was a coordinator in which I had a bunch of tasks and had some free time to myself to use my creativity to enhance things. So, ADD seems to be on the rise, allergens the same. I actually think there is a connection, I also do believe dopamine and histamine levels are inversely related (research Tourette syndrome for more information). I even had a thought that computers/technology are changing our brains to be more likely ADD type folks. And a lot of the older generation has this bias of what to expect from us, which is soooo different perhaps, from their current view of how we should all be. I am add but I'm not complaining, yes it sucks and you just want to be normal. But for real people I came here for an answer! not your life story's or hear arguements! I'm sorry but to all that wrote a book- You probably need to cut back on the mg. 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